Courting Conflict: Then v. Now


Mia Michele Aviles

Relationships, especially romantic ones, are an ever-present part of our society and lives all together.

In light of a modern technological age, building relationships, especially romantic ones, are never easy. The “Dating Game” has changed drastically over the years, with a freer and fiercer ability to find someone instantly at the click of a button, but one could argue, have we lost the old world charm? 

Before technology had the possibility of suffocating the essence of love, relationships were built upon the mystery and uncertainty behind the longing in seeing eachother again, the chivalry of a gentleman or gentlewoman, and the demonstration of commitment, respect, compassion and love. 

“Everybody knows the saying absence makes the heart grow fonder,” senior Samantha Bezos said. “In the old-school romance you cherish the time you spend together because it wasn’t there all the time.”

That being said, in today’s day and age we find ourselves enthralled by the period romance dramas that mimic every ounce of this old world charm beautifully. An antidote to our own distracted, technology-filled lives, these period pieces like Pride and Prejudice and Bridgerton may reveal that we long for something beyond what we have. 

I can’t help but think that there’s the possibility that we yearn or are even envious of these forms of courtship because we feel that we lack this sense of honesty.

With the countless expectations we place on ourselves and society pressures us to fit into, the simple act of going out of your way to meet someone for who they truly are, without the facade of social media, is enticing. 

“Social media doesn’t give us the opportunity to share things about ourselves that we wish to share, not that are out there for the world to see,” Bezos said. “I think that in some ways it deters us from that sense of emotional intimacy that takes place in a relationship.”

Social media’s insertion into our lives has certainly brought upon many benefits. With the ability to connect with someone from anywhere in the world, the opportunities at finding love are unlimited. 

Yet, amidst these possibilities, we find ourselves wishing for that true human connection, one only available when we are true to ourselves and those around us.

“Now, I feel, in some ways, you get to know the person extensively before making a big commitment,” senior Camila Aristizabal. “Back then many women didn’t have the rights we have today, especially since they were married off quickly and it felt almost like a duty to their families not to themselves. I think today women can make the choice themselves and that is so much more empowering.”

Regardless of which we prefer, finding love is not an easy feat. That being said, it’s important to remember that being true to yourself and who you love is one of the most important parts of a relationship, whether you enjoy the push and pull of modern day romance or the enticing longing of the old school courting.